Face it, few heroes have better one-liners thanSpider-Man. Mostsuperheroes today are sarcastic and quippy, but it’s hard to deny that the trend all began with Spider-Man. Stan Lee and Steve Ditko, the hero’s creators, created the mold for writing superheroes with snappy one-liners tied to a cocky bravado. As such, Spider-Man inspired hero dialogue to be written similarly in other comics, and nowadays we have smart mouths like Deadpool to keep track of.
That being said, other writers have come onto the creative team for Spider-Man and continue to write him with his original sarcasm and confidence. This attitude has becomeSpider-Man’s most important quality, making it essential to include for any panel to feel like a real reflection of the neighborhood hero. Spider-Man’s quips are not only essential, butthey make it plain entertaining as he drops some downright savage burns towards others. And as you can see below, some of Spider-Man’s greatest insults are against not only his villains but his fellow heroes, Captain America.
10Spider-Man Asks What Kind of Person Takes a Shield Into Battle
War of the Realms #3, written by Jason Aaron, drawn by Russell Dauterman, colored by Matthew Wilson, and lettered by VC’s Joe Sabino
War of the Realmsis an epicin every sense of the word, bringing Spider-Man and the rest of Marvel’s roster of heroes into a confrontation with Malekith. The Dark Elf has conquered the Nine Realms, and Earth’s Mightiest Heroes are Earth’s last line of defense to stop him from conquering the 10th, Midgard, a.k.a. Earth. At the Armory of Avengers Mountain, Frigga appoints Steve Rogers with the mission to find and rescue her son, Thor. With him, Captain America brings Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Wolverine, andSpider-Man as back-up in the realm of the Frost Giants.
Why Spider-Man & Captain America Aren’t Close in the MCU - 1 Quote Solves This Change from the Comics
Though Spider-Man idolizes Captain America in Marvel Comics, the two aren’t close in the MCU. A scene from Amazing Spider-Man #521 explains why.
Of course, no matter how high the stakes are, Spider-Man finds time to crack a joke, this time at Cap’s expense,as you can see in the gallery above. Honestly, every super-team needssomeone like Spider-Man on their side when things get tense. The hero isn’t just comedic relief for audiences, but he’s also a funny voice that lightens the mood and promotes camaraderie with the other characters.
9Spider-Man Takes Captain America’s Shield from Him Effortlessly
The Amazing Spider-Man #23, written by Zeb Wells, pencilled by John Romita Jr., inked by Scott Hanna, colored by Marcio Menyz, and lettered by VC’s Joe Caramagna
Sometimes, when Spider-Man roasts someone, it doesn’t come complete with a verbal jab. A physical ambush can beenough to embarrass anyone, even Captain America. DuringThe Amazing Spider-Man#23, Peter Parker is having a bad day andquitting the Avengersdoesn’t help his case. He’s confronted by Captain America, but Peter isn’t in a mood to talk. So instead of talking, Spider-Man uses anever-before-seen technique to disarm Captain Americabefore knocking him out with it.
That had to hurt his soul sharper than any of Spider-Man’s insults.
Truthfully, “technique” might be an overstatement, becauseSpider-Man makes disarming Cap look easy. It’s one thing for a soldier to have their weapon taken from them, but for it to happen so swiftly and easily. Obviously, the move had to hurt Captain America’s soul sharper than any of Spider-Man’s barbs.
8Spider-Man Loves To Mock Captain America
Captain America #15, written by J. Michael Straczynski, art by Jesus Saiz, color art by Matt Hollingsworth, and lettering by VC’s Joe Caramagna
In the thick ofCaptain America#15, Spider-Man, Thor, and Captain America collaborate on a disturbance in Broxton, Oklahoma following the God of Hammers' attacks. Steve downloaded a street view record of the town before it was totaled, which inspired surprise from Peter. Considering that Cap reminds Pete that he knows how to kill someone with a spoon, he probably didn’t take too kindly to being called grandpa.
Marvel Just Tore Down DC’s Multiverse In One of the Funniest Moments I’ve Ever Seen
With a fantastically surprising fourth-wall breaking joke, Marvel tears down the multiverse and takes a jab at DC’s multiversal problems.
One thing about Spider-Man is that he’s always going to find a way to hit someone where it hurts. He goes for the jugular with his insults, whether they are substantiated or not. Steve may not move like an old man thanks to the Super-Soldier Serum, but he is an old man whether he wants to admit it or not. It’s rare that he expresses insecurities about being born in 1918, butSpider-Man knows how to expose that insecurity in the funniest of ways.
7The Superior Spider-Man Calls Cap A Flag-waving Fool
Superior Spider-Man #7, written by Dan Slott, penciled by Humberto Ramos, inked by Victor Olazaba, color art by Edgar Delgado, and lettered by Chris Eliopoulos
Okay, so maybe this jab is cheating, because unlike these other entries, the Spider-Man we see here isn’t really Spider-Man. Rather, it’s Doc Ock in Spider-Man’s body during hisromp as Superior Spider-Man. Granted, perhaps because he’s still accompanied by the consciousness of Peter Parker in his head,Otto might’ve adopted Spider-Man’s sharp tongue. Early intoSuperior Spider-Man, unaware that their ally has been consumedby his greatest enemy, The Avengers confront “Peter” about his newfound violent behavior. Cap particularly quickly comes to regret putting his hands on the Superior Spider-Man.
Dr. Otto Octavius takes over Peter Parker’s body inThe Amazing Spider-Man#698, written by Dan Slott, penciled and inked by Richard Elson, colored by Antonio Fabela, and lettered by Chris Eliopoulos
Getting punched out by Spider-Man is egregious enough, but being called a “flag-waving fool” has to be the exclamation point for Cap. Anyone calling themselves Captain America is going to take their patriotism very seriously, but as is the case with roasts, the sharpest insults attack what someone’s proud of. Steve is proud to represent his country, and getting knocked out in its honor shakes his pride.
6Pete Makes Fun Of Steve’s Old Comics To His Face
Avenging Spider-Man #5, written by Zeb Wells, art by Leinil Francis Yu, inked by Gerry Alanguilan, color art by Sunny Gho, and lettered by VC’s Joe Caramagna
Spider-Man likes a good time, but he can take it way too farfor his own good. The hero has a tendency to roast people without even trying, and sometimes, he does so even more harshly than when he’s actually trying to roast someone. Take for example a moment inAvenging Spider-Man,as we find Peter and the rest of the Avengers stumble upon some old comics that Steve wrote when he was a kid, chronicling the adventures of Rogers Stevens, the secret identity of Rockets Red Glare. Spider-Man makes some jokes in jest, unaware that Steve was right behind him the whole time.
Usually, when Peter roasts someone, he wants to do it to their face, but somehow, he’seven harsher than if he tried intentionally to rip one into Cap’s face. It takes a lot to getCaptain America uncharacteristically angry, but poking fun at his handmade childhood comic strips seems to do the trick.
5Isn’t That Something a Mind-Controlled Person Would Say?
All-Out Avengers #5, written by Derek Landy, penciled by Greg Land, inked by Jay Leisten, colored by Frank D’Armata, and lettered by VC’s Cory Petit
This is another instance of Spider-Man roasting while attempting to be genuine. His concern is legitimately genuine, as he discovers that his fellow Avengers have had their memories rearranged by a Resequencer from one Grand Manipulator, who, shockingly, has manipulated their minds. With the Avengers in doubt, and still unsure as to why they only partially remember their latest missions, leader Captain America is concerned that Spider-Man may be the mind-controlled one here.Spider-Man is quick to undermine the leaderand his worries with a joke.
Spider-Man Just Took On All The Avengers (And Won)
In the latest issue of Marvel Comics' All-Out Avengers, Spider-Man has no choice but to fight Earth’s Mightiest Heroes…and he does incredibly well.
What’s funny is that, again, Peter raises a genuine point. All parties involved are struggling to trust their memories and, as a result, trust each other, and have every reason to be weary of such claims. However,Spider-Man is such a jokesterthat his genuine concern sounds disgenuinousand his concern reads as a dig at Cap’s character.
4Spider-Man Tells Captain America Not To Let His Wings Molt
The Amazing Spider-Man #187, written by Marv Wolfman and Jim Starlin, penciled by Starlin, inked by Bob McLeod, colored by Michele Wolfman, and lettered by Annette Kawecki
When the town of Indian Point is quarantined as a result of a rat plague, Captain America finds himself on duty to help neutralize the virus inThe Amazing Spider-Man#187. Unfortunately, Spider-Man enters the fray to use his reporter skills to understand why the town was mysteriously closed off. Cap, being cryptic, orders Spider-Man to leave town without reason in an attempt to save his life, going as far as to fight him and win,proving why he’s stronger than Spider-Man. Knowing when he’s not wanted, he warns Captain America to not “let your wings molt” from atop his hot head.
That’s an underrated aspect to Spider-Manthat not only goes overlooked: He knows how to brush off a loss, and uses his sense of humor to protect himself. He gets beaten up by Captain America badly, unquestionably taking an L, but it doesn’t feel like an L to readers if he gets the last word before leaving.
All-New Captain America Special #1, written by Jeff Loveness, art by Alec Morgan, colored by Nolan Woodard, and lettered by VC’s Joe Sabino
Berating anyone claiming the Captain America mantle is practically a superpower for Spider-Man at this point. Not only does he know how to win a verbal battle with Steve Rogers, but also themost recent Captain America, Sam Wilson. For Sam, catching a stray from Spider-Man is the best way for him to fully uphold his hero cowl and shield. After all, someone can’t trulycall themselves Captain America unless they’ve been roasted by Spider-Man.
In this instance, Peter asks Captain America, since he hasthe superpower to talk to birds, he asks Sam if he’d report a bald eagle to America if he found out the bird was a communist. Compared to the jabs Steve would get on a regular basis, this is light work, but judging from Captain America’s reaction,Spider-Man annoys him just as much.
2Spider-Man Mocks Sam Wilson For ‘Literally The Least Captain America Line Ever’
“Something Clearly Went Wrong” in Avengers & X-Men: AXIS #5, written by Rick Remender, penciled by Terry Dodson, inked by Rachel Dodson, colored by Laura Martin and Matt Milla, and lettered by Chris Eliopoulos
Of course, fans know one ofMarvel’s most divisive crossoversin history is theAXISevent. The story follows all ofMarvel’s heroes as they become villainsand all of Marvel’s villains become heroes. Naturally, only two heroes are spared from the change, and they are Spider-Man and Nova. One minute, Peter is hazing the newbie, and the next, they’re being attacked by their friends without warning or an indicator as to what just happened.
Marvel’s AXIS event begins in September 2014’s Uncanny Avengers #24, ending in December 2014’s Avengers & X-Men: AXIS #9.
The pair don’t have time to figure out what’s happening as they’re attacked by an evil Sam Wilson as you can imagine. The attack is what really triggers Spider-Man to realizesomething is actually wrong with his friends. No matter who is donning the shield, every Captain America is supposed to hate the Red Skull. Heck, even DC’sJoker hates Red Skull (and Nazis)so Spider-Man knows Sam can’t be in his right mind.
1Spider-Man Mocks Bucky Captain America Suit
New Avengers #53, written by Brian Michael Bendis, penciled by Billy Tan, inked by Matt Banning and Tan, colored by Jason Keith and Justin Ponsor, and lettered by Comicraft
Not even in his brief run as Captain America could Bucky Barnes escape a jab from Spider-Man. While searching for the next Sorcerer Supreme inNew Avengers#53, The Avengers touch base, withSpider-Man calling Barnes “Bucky Cap,” on top of making fun of the wings on his ears. The remark about the ears is one thing, but Spidey completely undermines Bucky’s attempt to be his own Captain America by not even recognizing him as Captain America. Instead, whether he does so intentionally or not, Spider-Man signals that he still sees the new hero as just Bucky.
Captain America Became the New Spider-Man Because of One Marvel Mistake
While Captain America and Spider-Man are two distinctly different characters, the two briefly became one Avenger all thanks to a Marvel mistake.
Spider-Man and Captain America have had a complicated history over the years, but ultimately, the two always come out on the end of thingsas friends and teammates. Still, whether they decide to team up or squabble up,Spider-Mancan’t help but poke fun at the first Avenger whenever he gets the chance.
